Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 80

Thread: did you have a crazy family??

  1. #1
    Insane padder What the fuck !!! snarg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    sipping margaritas on the caribbean
    Posts
    15,350
    vCash
    175
    Rep Power
    1728

    did you have a crazy family??



    ok, here's the deal:

    many of us think we grew up in dysfunctional families

    in this theard i want everyone to describe just one event (in deference to the general attention span deficiency shown here) to illustrate why some member of his family qualifies as the weirdest

    i will start:

    when the first surgeon general's report on the dangers of smoking were released my father quit smoking that day and never smoked another cigarette; my mother, bless her heart, began smoking for the first time in her life a couple weeks later

    yes she was a psycho


    if we get enuf entrants i will post a poll for the insaner with the best entry, please, people, true stories only, if ya wanna start a fantasy theard, go for it

    TIA

    I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.

    Thomas Merton



  2. #2
    Kangaroo Farmer On meds... Velvet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,752
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    462


    Well my brother and his mates went camping and smoking weed and turned up home 3 hours later saying a ufo chased them does that count

  3. #3
    Insane padder What the fuck !!! snarg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    sipping margaritas on the caribbean
    Posts
    15,350
    vCash
    175
    Rep Power
    1728


    Quote Originally Posted by Velvet
    Well my brother and his mates went camping and smoking weed and turned up home 3 hours later saying a ufo chased them does that count
    no, that is not even close, sorry

    I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.

    Thomas Merton



  4. #4
    nchammer
    Guest


    My father wears sneakers in the swimming pool

  5. #5
    Kangaroo Farmer On meds... Velvet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    2,752
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    462


    well it did follow them home .... damn .. *sighs* ok ... Will try again

  6. #6
    Now with 10% less brain! Mentally Unstable lad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    the greatest country in the world
    Posts
    3,365
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    522


    My mum used to come and pick me up from school, but then take other kids home as a result of looking at me
    Quote Originally Posted by Blondie
    Lad is all I can think about.

  7. #7
    Banana
    Guest


    My mom once tried to walk OUT the IN door at a grocery store. It was the automatic kind. So, as she stepped forward towards it, someone came in, and the door hit her in the face. She had the nerve to act indignant.

    When my sister was younger, she was at a friends house. Her friend made a lippy somment to her mother, and my sister cringed - scared she was going to get smacked. Another time, at the mall (I think), my sister was misbehaving and we were trying to verbally reprimand her. She yelled, at the top of her lungs, "PLEASE DON'T HIT ME!!"

  8. #8
    VitaminE
    Guest


    Gold!

  9. #9
    fomerly funny What the fuck !!! TomFoolery's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    11,610
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    1349


    My uncle (not blood) is 25% Native American, but this fucker thinks he's 150%. He's crazy. His whole purpose in life is to paint pictures of Indians and sell them at pow-wows. I'm not making this shit up.

    The day of my sister's wedding he had to take a dump on the way to the church, and he knew he wasn't going to make it all the way there before having to pinch a loaf. He had my dad pull over at McDonalds so he could shit, but the men's room was locked. At this point, apparantly the poo was taking control over his sphincter muscles, so he waddled to the women's bathroom and before he could even make it to the toilet he had to pull down his pants and shit on the floor. He left it there. When he was at my sister's wedding I could see what looked to be mud on his pants legs, it turns out it was shit.

    Does that qualify?
    Quote Originally Posted by BIRD33
    Im guessing BEW's vag loks like a hotdog that exploded in the microwave.

  10. #10
    Banana
    Guest


    Quote Originally Posted by Tom_ Faggotry
    My uncle (not blood) is 25% Native American, but this fucker thinks he's 150%. He's crazy. His whole purpose in life is to paint pictures of Indians and sell them at pow-wows. I'm not making this shit up.

    The day of my sister's wedding he had to take a dump on the way to the church, and he knew he wasn't going to make it all the way there before having to pinch a loaf. He had my dad pull over at McDonalds so he could shit, but the men's room was locked. At this point, apparantly the poo was taking control over his sphincter muscles, so he waddled to the women's bathroom and before he could even make it to the toilet he had to pull down his pants and shit on the floor. He left it there. When he was at my sister's wedding I could see what looked to be mud on his pants legs, it turns out it was shit.

    Does that qualify?
    Umm. Hell yes.

    My great grandparents were first cousins. For real.

  11. #11
    PurpleHaze
    Guest


    Quote Originally Posted by Tom_ Faggotry
    My uncle (not blood) is 25% Native American, but this fucker thinks he's 150%. He's crazy. His whole purpose in life is to paint pictures of Indians and sell them at pow-wows. I'm not making this shit up.

    The day of my sister's wedding he had to take a dump on the way to the church, and he knew he wasn't going to make it all the way there before having to pinch a loaf. He had my dad pull over at McDonalds so he could shit, but the men's room was locked. At this point, apparantly the poo was taking control over his sphincter muscles, so he waddled to the women's bathroom and before he could even make it to the toilet he had to pull down his pants and shit on the floor. He left it there. When he was at my sister's wedding I could see what looked to be mud on his pants legs, it turns out it was shit.

    Does that qualify?
    Are you for real?! He told you guys this?

  12. #12
    Mr. College Basketball What the fuck !!! cLaY's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Oolaga
    Posts
    16,006
    vCash
    500
    Rep Power
    1776


    i have an uncle who married a cheating heroin addict. she packed her shit up one day and moved in with her heroin dealing boyfriend. one night they decided to rob my uncle's house, which was a success. the next week my uncle filed for divorce. the bitch decided to try and get everything he owned, which she also succeeded in doing. a month later my uncle was diagnosed with testicular cancer, he ended up having a nut removed. a week after the divorce went the sluts way my uncle attempted to commit suicide by running a garden house from his exhaust into his car in an enclosed garage. i found him puke covered and convulsing.

    does this qualify?
    I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours

  13. #13
    Insane padder What the fuck !!! snarg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    sipping margaritas on the caribbean
    Posts
    15,350
    vCash
    175
    Rep Power
    1728


    Quote Originally Posted by Tom_ Faggotry
    My uncle (not blood) is 25% Native American, but this fucker thinks he's 150%. He's crazy. His whole purpose in life is to paint pictures of Indians and sell them at pow-wows. I'm not making this shit up.

    The day of my sister's wedding he had to take a dump on the way to the church, and he knew he wasn't going to make it all the way there before having to pinch a loaf. He had my dad pull over at McDonalds so he could shit, but the men's room was locked. At this point, apparantly the poo was taking control over his sphincter muscles, so he waddled to the women's bathroom and before he could even make it to the toilet he had to pull down his pants and shit on the floor. He left it there. When he was at my sister's wedding I could see what looked to be mud on his pants legs, it turns out it was shit.

    Does that qualify?
    tom has the right idea, (if this is true that is), the rest of youse guys have missed out on the joys of dysfunctional family life

    my cousin was told by a rather famous artist, when she asked what the most important thing a writer could possess, "a highly disfunctional family"

    it is working for the two of us, she has written a novel, and i have published as well

    step up and live up to your name, insaners

    I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.

    Thomas Merton



  14. #14
    British Petroleum Really needs a life Anhil8tor's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    28,605
    vCash
    291
    Rep Power
    10


    My brother has been to jail 4 times...

    is this close?

  15. #15
    Banana
    Guest


    I'm pretty sure having grandparents who are first cousins counts. But, if you need something more......

    my 2nd cousin left her husband after he sustained a significant brain injury. He was hit by a semi, and managed to live, but it really messed up his judgement. The final straw? She caught him fucking the family German Shepard in the garage.

  16. #16
    Insane padder What the fuck !!! snarg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    sipping margaritas on the caribbean
    Posts
    15,350
    vCash
    175
    Rep Power
    1728


    Quote Originally Posted by cLaY
    i have an uncle who married a cheating heroin addict. she packed her shit up one day and moved in with her heroin dealing boyfriend. one night they decided to rob my uncle's house, which was a success. the next week my uncle filed for divorce. the bitch decided to try and get everything he owned, which she also succeeded in doing. a month later my uncle was diagnosed with testicular cancer, he ended up having a nut removed. a week after the divorce went the sluts way my uncle attempted to commit suicide by running a garden house from his exhaust into his car in an enclosed garage. i found him puke covered and convulsing.

    does this qualify?
    that is a very sad story, i send out my sympathies
    however, it is not conclusive evidence of disfunctionality

    did your mom teach you to french kiss??
    that would do it

    I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.

    Thomas Merton



  17. #17
    Insane padder What the fuck !!! snarg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    sipping margaritas on the caribbean
    Posts
    15,350
    vCash
    175
    Rep Power
    1728


    Quote Originally Posted by anhil8tor
    My brother has been to jail 4 times...

    is this close?
    does he get along with the other inmates??


    I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.

    Thomas Merton



  18. #18
    Insane padder What the fuck !!! snarg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    sipping margaritas on the caribbean
    Posts
    15,350
    vCash
    175
    Rep Power
    1728


    Quote Originally Posted by Banana
    I'm pretty sure having grandparents who are first cousins counts. But, if you need something more......

    my 2nd cousin left her husband after he sustained a significant brain injury. He was hit by a semi, and managed to live, but it really messed up his judgement. The final straw? She caught him fucking the family German Shepard in the garage.
    that is certainly disfunctional behavior, but prolly induced by the brain damage

    what we are looking for is ssociopathic or psychotic behavior in the immediate family that has a profound effect on the other sibs

    I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.

    Thomas Merton



  19. #19
    Banana
    Guest


    Quote Originally Posted by snarg
    that is certainly disfunctional behavior, but prolly induced by the brain damage

    what we are looking for is ssociopathic or psychotic behavior in the immediate family that has a profound effect on the other sibs

    Ya. Tonnes of that. How about my mom and I once semi-dated the same guy at different times?

  20. #20
    Insane padder What the fuck !!! snarg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    sipping margaritas on the caribbean
    Posts
    15,350
    vCash
    175
    Rep Power
    1728


    i'm gonna give another example, true story:

    we have all heard of the super-human feats of mothers in order to save their babies, such as lifting a car off a pinned child

    well, my mom once lifted my dad's salt water aquarium, which weighed prolly twice as much as she did, and dumped it down the kitchen sink, cause she was "annoyed" with him

    i have many more

    let's dig deep into those psyches and help a brotha out


    I realise that I have a past to break with--an accumulation of inertia, wrong, foolishness, rot, junk. A great need of clarification, of mindfulness, or rather, of no mind. A need to return to genuine practice, right effort. Need to push on the great doubt. Need for the spirit. Hang on to the clear light.

    Thomas Merton



Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. I should go crazy
    By Bill in forum General Forum
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-03-2006, 11:11 PM
  2. If they weren't your family
    By leucetios in forum General Forum
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 11-16-2005, 10:54 PM
  3. The Family Guy
    By Banana in forum General Forum
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 09-03-2004, 08:43 AM
  4. Family Values
    By Bonkyboy in forum General Forum
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 06-30-2004, 02:26 PM
  5. family
    By bug in forum General Forum
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 03-11-2004, 02:32 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •