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Top Ten Reasons a Dildo is Better than a Man - Printable Version

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Top Ten Reasons a Dildo is Better than a Man - Velvet - 08-05-2004

Always hard all the time
No limp-dick performance anxiety, no shriveling up in the middle of the action, no oops-I-did-it-again premature ejaculation. A dildo's a hard-and-fast friend like no other.

You can have whatever size dildo you want.
Whether you like 'em long and slender or thick as a fist, there's a dildo available that will fit right in. Try finding a man who can do that.

Double - or triple - the pleasure
You can have multiple dildos without any jealousy or competition. Use one dildo one day, another one the next, or even switch mid-stream. No worries about bruising any fragile male egos. You can even fuck yourself with more than one dildo at once without the bed getting crowded.

Instant On
Dildos are ready to go when you are. You’ll never have to play with your dildo to get it hard enough to fuck you.
No childish whining about not wanting about showers with raincoats on
A dildo's the ultimate safe sex partner. Of course, if you want to put a condom on it to keep it clean, it won’t complain that it can’t feel anything.

A dildo can hit all the best spots.
With no unnecessary man attached, it's easy to maneuver your dildo to hit all of the right spots. You can even get a dildo specially designed to stimulate your G-spot; good luck finding a guy with a dick curved correctly to do the job. Best of all, it will keep hitting the right spot for as long as you want, and won't keep asking "did you come yet? did you come yet?"

A dildo won’t wake you up with morning wood.
Unless you roll over on top of it during the night, you won’t wake up to find your dildo poking you in the back. In any case, it won’t be wanting to get back in your cooter before you’ve even got your eyes open.

Dildos only squirt if you want them to.
With dildos, squirting jizz is optional. If you enjoy the effect, you can get an ejaculating dildo. Otherwise, you can skip the muss and fuss.

Dildos are easier to keep clean.

Dildos don’t have smegma and don’t get sweaty and gross. If you dildo starts to smell funky, just rinse it in the sink or toss it in the dishwasher.

Downright Inexpensive
Sex with men is expensive. Add up the condoms, birth control pills, breath mints, and Viagra, and even the most expensive dildo turns out to be a real bargain.


Top Ten Reasons a Dildo is Better than a Man - halfasleep - 08-05-2004

It's also a clear identifier that you have your work cut out for you in her bed... all those batteries all over the floor!!!!! :blink: Big Grin


Top Ten Reasons a Dildo is Better than a Man - BAZARRE - 08-05-2004

But have you had a dildo buy you a drink,or mow your lawn? Wink


Top Ten Reasons a Dildo is Better than a Man - leeman - 08-05-2004

Quote:Originally posted by BAZARRE@Aug 5 2004, 12:25 PM
But have you had a dildo buy you a drink,or mow your lawn? Wink
or pay the bills Wink


Top Ten Reasons a Dildo is Better than a Man - BAZARRE - 08-05-2004

Quote:Originally posted by leeman+Aug 5 2004, 11:38 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(leeman @ Aug 5 2004, 11:38 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'> <!--QuoteBegin-BAZARRE@Aug 5 2004, 12:25 PM
But have you had a dildo buy you a drink,or mow your lawn? Wink
or pay the bills Wink [/b][/quote]
Walk the dog <_<


Top Ten Reasons a Dildo is Better than a Man - Hambone - 08-05-2004

or have to answer your questions


Top Ten Reasons a Dildo is Better than a Man - Cornelius - 08-05-2004

or post shit in this thread.