Horoscope 8/3 - Printable Version

Horoscope 8/3 - Printable Version

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Horoscope 8/3 - leucetios - 08-03-2004

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Today you will find that you can make an incredibly silly sound, and will spend the entire day making it, and then laughing.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will rush around in a tizzy. It will be sort of fun, actually, since the tizzy handles well, and has more than enough power to make an exciting ride.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will answer the phone today by shouting "You bloated sack of protoplasm!." Unfortunately, it's not your friend calling. It's your mother.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Excellent time to race one of those little Shriners cars up and down the sidewalk twenty thousand million times. Also, you'll meet an angel, but don't let on that you know who she really is.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will discover a new "5th law" of Thermodynamics. The first law says "you can't win." The second law says "you can't break even." The 5th law, however, says "never draw to an inside straight."

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
This week will find you explaining gender roles to the clueless. For example, men MUST continue to channel surf on the TV, no matter how interesting the show is that they stumble onto. Women must watch what shows up on the channel they're watching, no matter how boring it is. It's just how these things are done. Women commit and regret it. Men don't commit and regret it. It's in our genes. Some kind of adenine/guanine/trampoline chemical thingie.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)
You will discover an odd amulet in an old curio shop, which is made entirely of holmium and yttrium, and which strongly interferes with the normal functioning of electronics. Best not to play with things like that.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
As a joke, you will hold up a certain air freshener in a bank, today, and announce "this is a Stick Up!." Later, you'll have time to reflect upon the regrettable fact that law enforcement officials are sadly lacking in a sense of humor.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Not a good time to discuss sauerkraut. At least not if you value your friendships, and your sanity.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Relationships are a lot like tables. One leg is love, one is trust, one is shared pleasures, and one is shared dreams. Lasting relationships need all four legs for balance, to hold up the burden of your troubles. In your case, though, you'll never get rid of that irritating wobble.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Another excellent day to whittle.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Good day to bring home a bag or two of live bugs.

Horoscope 8/3 - leeman - 08-03-2004

Huh

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will discover a new "5th law" of Thermodynamics. The first law says "you can't win." The second law says "you can't break even." The 5th law, however, says "never draw to an inside straight."

Horoscope 8/3 - CodeWarrior - 08-03-2004

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Another excellent day to whittle.

You're not the only one who's been slacking leu

Horoscope 8/3 - Neonranger - 08-03-2004

Quote:Originally posted by leucetios@Aug 3 2004, 05:48 PM
[b]Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
This week will find you explaining gender roles to the clueless. For example, men MUST continue to channel surf on the TV, no matter how interesting the show is that they stumble onto. Women must watch what shows up on the channel they're watching, no matter how boring it is. It's just how these things are done. Women commit and regret it. Men don't commit and regret it. It's in our genes. Some kind of adenine/guanine/trampoline chemical thingie.
[/b]

HUH

Horoscope 8/3 - leucetios - 08-03-2004

Quote:Originally posted by leeman@Aug 3 2004, 08:49 AM

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will discover a new "5th law" of Thermodynamics. The first law says "you can't win." The second law says "you can't break even." The 5th law, however, says "never draw to an inside straight."

I wonder is the 3rd and 4th law have to do with walkign on water Huh

Horoscope 8/3 - Spock - 08-03-2004

I regret to inform you that we on the Starship Enterprise had to move and remove some of the very Stars you have referenced for your predictions, so now those predictions you list above are null and void.

Most sorry for the inconvenience.

Horoscope 8/3 - leucetios - 08-03-2004

Arent' you also from the future? And doesn't the light from those stars take a shitload of years to reach earth? Sound like logically you're statement doesn't apply for more time than any of us have. So, uhm: Who gives a rat fucking cock?

I probably got that last thing wrong

Horoscope 8/3 - Spock - 08-03-2004

Quote:Originally posted by leucetios@Aug 3 2004, 05:54 PM
Arent' you also from the future?  And doesn't the light from those stars take a shitload of years to reach earth? Sound like [b]logically you're statement doesn't apply for more time than any of us have.  So, uhm:  Who gives a rat fucking cock?

I probably got that last thing wrong [/b]

But using the Enterprise and the 'sling-shot' effect, we actually traveled into the deep past of the universe to remove those stars I refer to. We managed to saved your planet and several other solar systems that way.

Besides, isn't it illogical to try to estimate the future on the light from the past of already extinct and gone Solar bodies????

Horoscope 8/3 - leucetios - 08-03-2004

It makes perfect sense if you ask me, but then, I don't have pointy ears and claim to be from the future and all non-emotional but still use three question marks Wink

Horoscope 8/3 - Spock - 08-03-2004

Quote:Originally posted by leucetios@Aug 3 2004, 06:10 PM
It makes perfect sense if you ask me, but then, I don't have pointy ears and claim to be from the future and all non-emotional but still use three question marks

I must admit that since I am half-human, the use of the multiple question marks are slips of that human side I must constantly keep under control. My father, Sarek, perferred human females, much to my regret.

I believe most of the males of this group can relate to the idea of preferring human females to mate with, though there seems to be an exception or two.

Horoscope 8/3 - leucetios - 08-03-2004

I give. You're too logical for me. I'm going back to the redheads thread :drool:

Horoscope 8/3 - APB - 08-03-2004

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You will discover a new "5th law" of Thermodynamics. The first law says "you can't win." The second law says "you can't break even." The 5th law, however, says "never draw to an inside straight."

<_<

Horoscope 8/3 - Spock - 08-03-2004

Quote:Originally posted by leucetios@Aug 3 2004, 06:17 PM
I give.  You're too logical for me.  I'm going back to the redheads thread :drool:

Do not feel bad for yourself. I have had years of practice debating Doctor McCoy, though I must admit it is easy to get the upper hand over a person who constantly saids "I'm a Doctor, not a bricklayer".

Horoscope 8/3 - leucetios - 08-03-2004

the word xenocide comes to mind

Horoscope 8/3 - Devious - 08-03-2004

Quote:Pisces (February 19 - March 20) Good day to bring home a bag or two of live bugs.

WTF?

Horoscope 8/3 - Spock - 08-03-2004

Quote:Originally posted by leucetios@Aug 3 2004, 06:28 PM
the word xenocide comes to mind

The only word in your mind? Most distressing.

Horoscope 8/3 - pepsi - 08-03-2004

Quote:Originally posted by leucetios@Aug 3 2004, 05:48 PM
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You will answer the phone today by shouting "You bloated sack of protoplasm!." Unfortunately, it's not your friend calling. It's your mother.

hey leu why do i always get weird ass horoscopes? This would be really creepy if i got a call from my mother since she passed away. What creeps me out sometimes though is I would get a phone call and i always check the caller id first and it would read the hospital my mom died at. Once without checking i picked it up and there was dead silence as if the line had died. Then i checked the Id and sure enough it said the hospitals name.

Horoscope 8/3 - leucetios - 08-03-2004

Can't tell you why you get the creepy ones. APB was complaining about getting shit ones too. For a while there I was making up the horoscopes, but one days like today when I am too lazy to think of 12 things to say I grab them from a site. The guy on the site says he "mostly just spins a carrot" Confused

Horoscope 8/3 - Banana - 08-03-2004

Leu, a rat fucking cock? :llma: ***trying to interpret a rat fucking cock, and how it is distinguishable from other ones*** That was funny!

Horoscope 8/3 - leucetios - 08-03-2004

:fuck: I'm no bdic. I can never remember exactly how that's supposed to go Wink