Horoscope for today (7/19) - Printable Version

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Horoscope for today (7/19) - leucetios - 07-19-2004

Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to burst into song. Nothing too fancy, mind you -- no arias. The theme song from "The Beverly Hillbillies" will do nicely. Why not see how many people you can get to sing along?

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Today you will discover the original version of the nursery rhyme: "Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such fun, because he was mentally impaired."

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Birds figure heavily in your day, today. My advice? Wear a hat.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Don't do that. Your face could get stuck that way. Oh, I'm sorry. I hadn't realised it already did...

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You've about had it with one particular fool in your life. Have you considered investing in a tranquilizer gun? Mine comes in very handy, especially at work.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Although you will attempt to thwart your obsession (tying things up with twine) by avoiding twine for the entire day today, it will continue to plague your thoughts. In other words, you will not knot for naught.

Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Today you will lose all self-control. You'll find it again tomorrow, though -- it just rolled under the couch.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Today you will discover that you can amuse your friends by pretending that your hand is a tsetse fly, and "walking" it along the table. Your friends are easily amused, as it turns out.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Today you will flip a coin 4 times, and it will come up "heads", "tails", "heads", "heads." Then someone will come up and say "hey, whatcha doing?" Then the phone will ring. Just a coincidence, though, in this case.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Good day to begin construction of a labyrinth. Everybody loves a labyrinth.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will discover that you can raise one eyebrow by itself, but not the other. This will aggravate you, and you'll spend the majority of the day in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to correct the situation.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Today you will become a card-carrying member of a new and very exclusive organization named "Yeomen of the Carbuncle", although you'll spend a lot of time at the first meeting debating whether it should actually be called "Yeopersons of the Carbuncle."

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Horoscope for today (7/19) - APB - 07-19-2004

Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You've about had it with one particular fool in your life. Have you considered investing in a tranquilizer gun? Mine comes in very handy, especially at work.

Maybe suggesting that I shoot my boss in the ass?

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Horoscope for today (7/19) - CodeWarrior - 07-19-2004

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will discover that you can raise one eyebrow by itself, but not the other. This will aggravate you, and you'll spend the majority of the day in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to correct the situation.


So true

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Horoscope for today (7/19) - Suicide Jim - 07-20-2004

what are the lyrics to the beverly hillbillies theme?

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Horoscope for today (7/19) - mad_hatter - 07-20-2004

Quote:Originally posted by Suicide Jim@Jul 19 2004, 09:53 PM
what are the lyrics to the beverly hillbillies theme?

from memory is some shit like

come listen to the story of a man names Jed
was a poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed
then one day he was shooting at some food
when up from the ground come a bubbling crude
(oil that is)

I don't remember the second verse, but they mention something about clayrock being complete cunt, they rhyme it with hunt I think

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Horoscope for today (7/19) - Banana - 07-20-2004

^^^^^^^^^
:llma:
pad pad pad pad pad

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Horoscope for today (7/19) - VitaminE - 07-20-2004

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