Tuesday funnies... - Printable Version
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Tuesday funnies... - leeman - 06-15-2004
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell
out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
Tuesday funnies... - VitaminE - 06-15-2004
A travelling ventriloquist on the road in between jobs decided to
practice his craft before his next show. He stopped at a farmhouse
and approached the farmer who lived there. "Hello there, Mr.
Farmer, I was just passing by and I was wondering if I might speak
to your dog."
The farmer replied, "Well, you know, dogs don't talk."
The ventriloquist said, "You'd be surprised what a dog might tell you.
Can I speak with him?"
The farmer, eyeing the ventriloquist suspiciously, called his dog.
"Hi there, Mr. dog," said the ventriloquist. "How does the farmer treat
you?" To which the dog replied, "Oh, he's great! He throws a stick for
me, scratches my belly, and I just love him!!"
Needless to say, the farmer was dumbfounded. Wanting to see if he could
fool the farmer again, the ventriloquist asked if he could speak with
the farmer's horse. "Well, you know, horses don't talk." Again the
ventriloquist said, "You'd be surprised what a horse might tell you."
So the farmer brought out his horse.
"Say, Mr. Horse, how does the farmer treat you?" asked the
ventriloquist. The horse then replied, "Oh, I think he's great. He
feeds me oats, he puts a blanket over me at night, and I just love him!"
Again the farmer was amazed. Wanting to try his luck a third time, the
ventriloquist said, "Mr. Farmer, would you like to hear what the sheep
has to say about you?"
"Well," declared the farmer, "Sheep lie, ya' know..."
Tuesday funnies... - Suicide Jim - 06-15-2004
that takes some thinking right there.
Tuesday funnies... - leeman - 06-15-2004
ROFLMFAO That was a good one VE.
Tuesday funnies... - VitaminE - 06-15-2004
Out of all the jokes I've heard, I only remember the ones where someone has sex with animals - is that weird?
Tuesday funnies... - Suicide Jim - 06-15-2004
what's with you and fucking animals today?
Tuesday funnies... - VitaminE - 06-15-2004
I've always heard the people who hurt animals are bad and people that love animals are good. I just thought I'd kick it up a notch.
Tuesday funnies... - VitaminE - 06-15-2004
There a fisherman standing on the shore as a conservation officer walks up. The officer looks in the man's bucket and sees six walleyes. He says to the fisherman, 'You are only allowed to catch three'. The man says, 'Oh, I didn't catch these. They're my trained pets'. 'Trained pets?' The officer asks. 'Yes' replies the fisherman. 'I bring them down to the lake to let them swim for a while. They come right back when I whistle.' The officer says "This I've got to see'. The fisherman pours the bucket of fish in the lake and the two men watch them swim around. The officer says "Now call the fish back'. The man says 'What fish?'
Tuesday funnies... - VitaminE - 06-15-2004
Sassy do you know any jokes?
Tuesday funnies... - Sassy - 06-15-2004
Quote: Sassy do you know any jokes?That's me. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. :>
Tuesday funnies... - leeman - 06-15-2004
Quote:Originally posted by Sassy@Jun 15 2004, 03:47 PMThat's me. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. :> [/b] RACK Sassy.
Quote:[b] Sassy do you know any jokes?
If that's not a joke then there is none
:lmao:
Tuesday funnies... - Sassy - 06-15-2004
Quote: RACK Sassy.What time is it there?
If that's not a joke then there is none
:lmao:
But can that's not a joke ever happen? <_<
Tuesday funnies... - VitaminE - 06-15-2004
Sassy how did you get poop under your fingernail?
Tuesday funnies... - Sassy - 06-15-2004
Quote: Sassy how did you get poop under your fingernail?Um, Everything I need to know, I learned from my . :unsure:
Tuesday funnies... - leeman - 06-15-2004
What are the three fastest means of communication?
Internet
Telephone
Telawoman!
Tuesday funnies... - xoxmelxox - 06-15-2004
:lmao: