for gator and tweety - Printable Version

for gator and tweety - Printable Version

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for gator and tweety - snarg - 06-15-2010

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd, in a remote mountainous pasture in California, when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd, and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location, which he then feeds to another NASA satellite, that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany ..

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email, on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives his response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ......

Now give me back my dog.

for gator and tweety - Blondie - 06-15-2010

:crickets:

for gator and tweety - WoolyGoat - 06-15-2010

he's got a razr and a blackberry?

for gator and tweety - Anhil8tor - 06-15-2010

Ha!

for gator and tweety - BIRD33 - 06-15-2010

Please keep my name and 8's separate.

for gator and tweety - snarg - 06-15-2010

you are two peas in a pod

for gator and tweety - BIRD33 - 06-15-2010

He's more dead then quint to me.

for gator and tweety - Anhil8tor - 06-15-2010

BIRD33 Wrote:He's more dead then quint to me.

we will be forever linked bird. face it.

for gator and tweety - BIRD33 - 06-15-2010

Dead.To.Me.

for gator and tweety - snarg - 06-15-2010

salt and pepper, you can't escape

for gator and tweety - BIRD33 - 06-15-2010

I think we know which spice I would be in that equation.