fml - Printable Version
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fml - WoolyGoat - 08-25-2009
http://www.fmylife.com/tops
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
fml - BIRD33 - 08-25-2009
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML
fml - Anhil8tor - 08-25-2009
Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML
fml - BIRD33 - 08-25-2009
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
fml - BIRD33 - 08-25-2009
Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML
I'm with that guy.
fml - WoolyGoat - 08-25-2009
seriously...wtf did she expect?
fml - quint - 08-26-2009
Today, I asked my hip, young secretary about someone I assumed was a rapper because my 15 year old son kept discussing with his friend how much his girlfriend likes this individual. My secretary looked horrified and did not answer. I later found out why. The 'person' I asked about? Dirty Sanchez. FML
fml - Anhil8tor - 08-26-2009
how many of these do you think is made up?
fml - WoolyGoat - 08-26-2009
probably more than half, unforunately
fml - snarg - 08-26-2009
fooking hilarious
fml - BIRD33 - 08-28-2009
http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
"How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."
1:55 PM Aug 25th from web
"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."
9:35 AM Aug 20th from web
fml - WoolyGoat - 08-28-2009
http://twitter.com/bird33
fml - BIRD33 - 08-28-2009
What a fucking lame ass.
fml - BIRD33 - 08-31-2009
![[Image: 302.jpg]](http://peopleofwalmart.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/302.jpg)
http://peopleofwalmart.com/
fml - Anhil8tor - 08-31-2009
BIRD33 Wrote:
http://peopleofwalmart.com/
site isn't loading up for me
fml - BIRD33 - 08-31-2009
What am I the fucking IT department here?
fml - Vitamin E - 08-31-2009
BIRD33 Wrote:What am I the fucking IT department here?
With 8 and Q as admins....I'd have to say yes.
fml - WoolyGoat - 09-02-2009
BIRD33 Wrote:http://twitter.com/shitmydadsaysshitmydadsays
"How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."
1:55 PM Aug 25th from web
"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."
9:35 AM Aug 20th from web
"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"
fml - BIRD33 - 09-18-2009
"Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal."
"I turn the kitchen faucet on and the shower burns you, yes, I get it...No, I'm not gonna stop, I'm just saying yes, I get that concept."
fml - BIRD33 - 09-18-2009
http://twitter.com/badtaglines
Motel 6. Where the porn you watch in other hotels gets made.
Guinness. Because your shit can always be blacker.
Juicy Juice. Not affiliated with Doug E. Doug.
Suave. Pubic-grade shampoo.