Breaking News from Minnesota - Printable Version

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Breaking News from Minnesota - Flumper Barflusterbutt - 01-08-2009

Young Boy Found Beaten To Death at Minnesota Elementary School (API)

Minneapolis, MN: About 2:30 pm today, the body of a young boy was found beaten to death behind the Sister Mary's Thorny Bush Elementary School in suburban Minneapolis (sp?). Apparantly, the boy had been the victim of a revenge attack by another student at the school stemming from a string of recent violent events surrounding the victim.

A spokesperson for the school reported that the numerous attacks involving the victim had escalated in recent days and although the exact nature of this deadly retaliation is still unknown, the local police are investigating several youths that have been in altercations with the boy. They are particularly interested in any students that might have come home with significant amount of cat hair and possibly a UNC hoodie that was missing from the scene.

Investigators would like any information to be turned over to the local authorities immediately. The victim's family requests that in lieu of flowers, donations of Pabst Blue Ribbon be sent to their home.

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Breaking News from Minnesota - PinesChic - 01-08-2009

omg

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Breaking News from Minnesota - Vitamin E - 01-08-2009

Pabst fixes everything...to include dead kids.

ALL HAIL PABST!

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