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SporK's Weekend - Printable Version

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SporK's Weekend - The Original SporK (c) - 01-08-2008

So The SporK gets a phone call from Vlad who claims to have 2 hot college bitches coming over that he met at a bar earlier and they were at little buzzed. SporK decides to go and check them out to see if they meet SporK's high standards of quality pussy and if they are good enough to fuck The SporK. These two turn out kinda whorish yet attractive, so SporK decides they are good enough to fuck. SporK makes his move on the hotter of the two while Vlad gets cockblocked. This makes Vlad pissed as hell. One of the bitches says it's time to leave, and picks up her cell phone to call a cab. Vlad tends to throw things when he's pissed so he takes the cunt's cell phone and heaves it at the wall, shattering it into a million pieces. One of these pieces grazes the uppity cunt in the cheek. SporK begins to realize his chances of fucking the other one are severely compromised. So being a genius like SporK is, I devise a plan. I offer to drive the two bitches home. The uppity cunt has a cut on her cheek and says she wants to call the cops. SporK talks her out of this and we go to my car. We drop the uppity grazed cheek bitch off and finally I am alone with bitch number 2 again. SporK suggests going to a hotel. She says dinner first. SporK agrees with the agreement we fuck later. We eat dinner and the cunt yaks about all aspects of her life. The SporK does not care and checks out the hot waitress instead while tuning out the cunt's entire life story. After dinner I again suggest a motel to which she offers The SporK a blowjob in the car instead. SporK is of course pissed, yet I figure it's better than nothing so I let her blow me. SporK agrees to drive her home afterward and decides to get even for the cunt backtracking on her promise to fuck The SporK and giving only a sub par blowjob. I drive through a particularly rough part of Brooklyn and come to a red light. Spork sees a convenience door and comes up with a plan. I ask her if she would run in and buy me some smokes. She agrees and I pull into the store. I give her some cash and tell her it's a rough neighborhood so she should leave her purse in the car. This place has homeless crackheads standing out front asking for change and the clerk is behind a bullet proof glass. She gets out and closes the door. SporK laughs as he peels out of the parking lot on the way back to Vlad's for poker night. It is good to be The Spork.

SporK's Weekend - BIRD33 - 01-08-2008

I never realized spork is a russian jew.Not that theres anything wrong with it.

SporK's Weekend - Anhil8tor - 01-08-2008

Didn't bird tell this story already?


I think BEW's board has ruint you young spork.

SporK's Weekend - BIRD33 - 01-08-2008

I told a similar story that was much more funny.I don't blame him for trying to steal it.

SporK's Weekend - Banana - 01-09-2008

This can't be original Spork. There is no book advertisement.

SporK's Weekend - Anhil8tor - 01-09-2008

will jimmy come back?

SporK's Weekend - Banana - 01-09-2008

Anhil8tor Wrote:will jimmy come back?

No. I've killed him and I eat a piece of him daily.

SporK's Weekend - minorthreat - 01-09-2008

I like reading about The Spork. He is $$$$. He don't take lip from no bitches.

SporK's Weekend - Anhil8tor - 01-09-2008

Banana Wrote:No. I've killed him and I eat a piece of him daily.

I bet the meat is really marbled.

SporK's Weekend - BIRD33 - 01-09-2008

Its the only way he could get her to swallow.

SporK's Weekend - cLaY - 01-09-2008

not the real spork.

the real deal knows when to hit "enter"