Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women.

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Printable Version

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Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - SporK - 07-01-2006

Later.

-SporK

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Blueeyedwoman - 07-02-2006

You have a 'theories' on picking up women but no tried and true practises. Got it.

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Mandy - 07-02-2006

Blueeyedwoman Wrote:You have a 'theories' on picking up women but no tried and true practises. Got it.

That's because real women say no. The doll he has blown up never does.

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Blueeyedwoman - 07-02-2006

We chix recognize a virgin guy when we read his postings. :wink:

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - SporK - 07-02-2006

Dumb sluts,

I put my thoeries to the test everyday. They are obv money.

-SPorK

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Blueeyedwoman - 07-02-2006

Your tenth grade science teacher has not yet given the Procreation lecture. Next year when he does, check back in. Otherwise, feel free to take a vacation from posting here.

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - SporK - 07-02-2006

Blueeyedwoman Wrote:Your tenth grade science teacher has not yet given the Procreation lecture. Next year when he does, check back in. Otherwise, feel free to take a vacation from posting here.

It's 5:03am. I just got home. As I write this, I feel nautious from drinking 2 TERRIBLE long island's. Here are my nightly highlights:

Big breasted Girl sees Spork; rushes over.
SPORK SPORK!! WE WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL TOGETHER!!!!!!
Who are you?
So and so. Name forgotten.
Hi hihihi asjhfgsdjaf. Asks for Spork's number. Spork refuses. Girl asks spork to stop staring at aformentioned big breasts. Spork uses camera phone to take picture of aformentioned chest. Girl visibly faking being angry.
Small chat made.
Etc.

An hour later:

Spork is walking. Someone grabs Spork. It is previously mentioned girl. Girl pulls Spork over...begins dry hump type dancing. Dood who was previously dancing with her is pushed away mid song, obv not thrilled about it either. Spork shrugs in his direction. Spork not really interested, proceeds to stare at blonde 10 feet away.

15 minutes later:

Girl grabs spork, walks over to blonde, introduces herself, introduces SPork. Puts blondes hand into Spork's hand. Leaves. Spork obtains blondes phone number. Spork obtains blonde's friends phone number. Spork realizes having sex with either of them tonight is hopeless. Spork says he will be in touch, leaves.

20 minutes later:

Spork walks outside to speak to friends. Aformentioned big breasted girl finds Spork. Girl touches spork, pulls him to side, around corner. Attempts makeout session with spork, it does not last long. Spork unzips, takes penis out. Girl strokes penis then kneels down, begins oral-sex. Spork waves at people walking. Big breats decides this is too public for her, proceeds to open purse and pull out boyfriends car keys. Grabs sporks hand, proceeds to drag spork, who is walking with penis out, for 1.5 blocks. Opens white nissan maxima using alarm button, sits spork on backseat, attempts to jump on top of spork and makeout. Rejected. Spork informs skank blow job continuation is necessary.

30 minutes later:

Spork empties load of cum ingo skanks mouth. I "cheeked" her. She swallowed. We go back to club. As we walk back boyfriend calls. Retarded girl gets lost, doesn't know what to say. Spork hints that she was at the store buying cigarettes. Approved.

End of night: Whore kisses everyone on cheek while saying goodbyes. SPork laughs hysterically. No one knows why. Invites spork for picnic tomorrow. Spork still doesn't know her name. Spork will probably go to the hamptons instead of her picnic.

Ahh. It's good to be Teh SporK.

-SPorK

P.s. Bitch, when you can find someone who murders the game of ho's like this, check back in. Until then, feel free to take a vacation from breathing.

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Mandy - 07-02-2006

3 hours later.

Spork wakes up.

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - SporK - 07-02-2006

Mandy Wrote:3 hours later.

Spork wakes up.

Actually, 8 hours later. I missed my ride to the hamptons. I got many bad voicemails.

Now I have to go find alternative source of transportation.

-SporK

P.s. I hope your kid comes out cross-eyed you fucking fat bitch.

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Blueeyedwoman - 07-02-2006

You will never be published anywhere but on internet message boards.

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - SporK - 07-02-2006

Blueeyedwoman Wrote:You will never be published anywhere but on internet message boards.

Worse case scenario, I'll open my own publishing house and publish myself.

Settle down, you dumb bitch. You're still not getting a free book.

-SporK

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Blueeyedwoman - 07-02-2006

Vanity press? Published authors the world over will laff their asses off at you. Fukkin' dork.

ps: there will be no 'book.' Send me the manuscript. Make sure it's in proper format, not that I'd waste anytime reading it.

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - SporK - 07-02-2006

Blueeyedwoman Wrote:Vanity press? Published authors the world over will laff their asses off at you. Fukkin' dork.

ps: there will be no 'book.' Send me the manuscript. Make sure it's in proper format, not that I'd waste anytime reading it.

Spork couldn't give less of a fuck about what published authors think. The book is not a top priority for the Spork, otherwise it would have already been finished. At some point, Spork will use it or some of it for his doctrine.

Send you the manuscript? Are you fucking retarded? Do you think before you speak? Why would Spork send you his manuscipt?

-SporK

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Blueeyedwoman - 07-02-2006

Told you. I need firewood (kindling).

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - ntype - 07-02-2006

[Image: easter2.gif]

l to r : spork and bew

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Mandy - 07-02-2006

SporK Wrote:Actually, 8 hours later. I missed my ride to the hamptons. I got many bad voicemails.

Now I have to go find alternative source of transportation.

-SporK

P.s. I hope your kid comes out cross-eyed you fucking fat bitch.

That's a real nice thing to say. :ct:

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - candifecalpaste - 07-02-2006

Mandy Wrote:That's a real nice thing to say. :ct:

it would take at least three men to "pick" your fat pregers manley looking ass up

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Blueeyedwoman - 07-03-2006

ntype Wrote:
l to r : spork and bew

Incomprehensible, as usual.

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - ntype - 07-03-2006

Blueeyedwoman Wrote:Incomprehensible, as usual.

left the "porcupine" aka spork, right the "mice" aka Bew.

bew try to play a badass game but she don't know that the porcupine is going to shag her in the house just over there.

that's an explanation.

another explanation would be some kind of kid drawing that I posted here without really digging for something more convenient.

another one : I posted this drawing here because some may print this thread for archive purposes or just wanted to poo on some hugly .... drawing.

init.

Spork theories: Chapter 1 - Picking up women. - Mandy - 07-03-2006

candifecalpaste Wrote:it would take at least three men to "pick" your fat pregers manley looking ass up

No actually I only weigh 160lbs. My Dr said I've lost weight in the last 2 months. So talk some more shit you know nothing about. :roll: