Brillaint Responses - Printable Version

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Brillaint Responses - Velvet - 04-16-2004

Brilliant Response #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat...she said, "Sir,
I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
Brilliant Response #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
they're
dead."
Brilliant Response #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The
kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Brilliant Response #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads: Low bridge ahead'... Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got
stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and
ran out of gas."
And finally,
Brilliant Response #5
THE TEACHER Smart-ass Answer OF THE YEAR A college teacher reminds her
class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a
serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family
but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back
of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I
said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The
entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When
silence is restored, the teacher smiles authentically at the student,
shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the
exam with your other hand."

:lmao:

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Brillaint Responses - Hambone - 04-16-2004

I like response #5

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