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shit - what? - 03-23-2006

so my baby and my baby's mamma are out of town this week, staying with my in-laws. they're all in a hotel room at the beach, where father in law has a round of meetings for his work. I was snoozing at 5:45 this morning when my cell phone rings. I wake up but miss the call - it's from Mrs. What? she never wakes up before 9:00 when she's home, neither does my daughter, why the hell would she call so early? I call right back, a little concerned - "everything OK?" I ask a little frantically when she answers. she figures out I'm worried and first says "don't worry, the baby is fine. I just can't fucking sleep. everybody in the room is snoring and I've barely slept all night. I'm walking around the lobby now 'cause I had to get out of there"

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!?!?!

I had no idea what the hell to say. I offered apologies on her parents' behalf and my most heartfelt condolences, and listened while she recounted the night - emphasizing her lack of slumber - all the while thinking "well I was sleeping just fine until YOU called". she tells me she'd held off an hour before calling me (thank God), but couldn't take it anymore. again I resisted the urge to ask her what in the name of fuck all I was gonna do about it. she finally said "well, I guess I'll let you get back to sleep". THANKS! I nodded off again about a half hour later, just in time for the alarm to go off so I could hop in the shower and go to work.

so I'm guessing since I was awakened at quarter 'til six in the morning to listen to her bitch about something happening 350 miles away that I have zero control over and no chance of solving for her, I have every right to expect that next time I wake up with a hard on I can poke her in the back with it and she immediately begin to fellate me. one of you crazy hookers here confirm this for me so I don't get myself in trouble

thanks in advance

shit - Blueeyedwoman - 03-23-2006

I didn't real all that.

shit - Bill - 03-23-2006

what? Wrote:so my baby and my baby's mamma are out of town this week, staying with my in-laws. they're all in a hotel room at the beach, where father in law has a round of meetings for his work. I was snoozing at 5:45 this morning when my cell phone rings. I wake up but miss the call - it's from Mrs. What? she never wakes up before 9:00 when she's home, neither does my daughter, why the hell would she call so early? I call right back, a little concerned - "everything OK?" I ask a little frantically when she answers. she figures out I'm worried and first says "don't worry, the baby is fine. I just can't fucking sleep. everybody in the room is snoring and I've barely slept all night. I'm walking around the lobby now 'cause I had to get out of there"

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK!?!?!

I had no idea what the hell to say. I offered apologies on her parents' behalf and my most heartfelt condolences, and listened while she recounted the night - emphasizing her lack of slumber - all the while thinking "well I was sleeping just fine until YOU called". she tells me she'd held off an hour before calling me (thank God), but couldn't take it anymore. again I resisted the urge to ask her what in the name of fuck all I was gonna do about it. she finally said "well, I guess I'll let you get back to sleep". THANKS! I nodded off again about a half hour later, just in time for the alarm to go off so I could hop in the shower and go to work.

so I'm guessing since I was awakened at quarter 'til six in the morning to listen to her bitch about something happening 350 miles away that I have zero control over and no chance of solving for her, I have every right to expect that next time I wake up with a hard on I can poke her in the back with it and she immediately begin to fellate me. one of you crazy hookers here confirm this for me so I don't get myself in trouble

thanks in advance

That'd be a big negative sleepy. But the next time you start snoring this event gives her the green light to put her penis in your mouth to shut you up...

shit - TomFoolery - 03-23-2006

Bill Wrote:...put her penis in your mouth...

2nd

shit - what? - 03-23-2006

Blueeyedwoman Wrote:I didn't real all that.

I readdy wish you would >_>

shit - Blueeyedwoman - 03-23-2006

Just assume that whatever Tom thought of it, I agree with him.

shit - SanDog - 03-23-2006

I thought that was a funny story. Next time I can't sleep I am calling What?

shit - cLaY - 03-23-2006

RACK you and your self control. I have a hard time keeping myself in check when that dumb bitch I married does something stupid and asks me for sympathy. Next time my wife's car gets broken into on a Saturday night because she was too drunk to drive home and decided to leave it in the worst part of town, costing me 300 bills and 4 hours of my private time piecing her AC/Heater controls back together, I'll think of what? and how great of a husband he is.

shit - PurpleHaze - 03-23-2006

Blueeyedwoman Wrote:I didn't real all that.

What's stories are always $$$.

shit - Anhil8tor - 03-23-2006

how long are they gone far..

i get up early sometimes...

shit - Blueeyedwoman - 03-23-2006

Anhil8tor Wrote:how long are they gone far..

i get up early sometimes...


Me, too. Once I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and started three threads at UJ. The place had about four posters online. The threads were all removed because they were "aimless, pointless, look-at-me" threads, as explained to me by the mod who yanked them off the board.

I said, "HELLO! The board is dead and I'm helping it move. Plus what board do you think you're modding at? This is USELESSjunk. Show me one thread that isn't at least aimless or pointless or look-at-me."

I am grieved to say that the mod was not amused.

shit - Anhil8tor - 03-23-2006

I almost called this morning.. but you haven't answered my question yet.

shit - BIRD33 - 03-23-2006

Blueeyedwoman Wrote:Me, too. Once I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and started three threads at UJ. The place had about four posters online. The threads were all removed because they were "aimless, pointless, look-at-me" threads, as explained to me by the mod who yanked them off the board.

I said, "HELLO! The board is dead and I'm helping it move. Plus what board do you think you're modding at? This is USELESSjunk. Show me one thread that isn't at least aimless or pointless or look-at-me."

I am grieved to say that the mod was not amused.

wgaf?

shit - what? - 03-24-2006

update (sorry for the delay)

that night she went to the drugstore to get earplugs. and it sounds like I may get some lovin' this weekend when I see her again. she told me she checked out at the drugstore with the following two items:

earplugs, and

condoms



she said the chick at the counter looked at her kinda funny Huh

Bill - you say one word about those condoms being for anybody but me and there's gonna be trouble ><

shit - leucetios - 03-24-2006

what? Wrote:Bill - you say one word about those condoms being for anybody but me and there's gonna be trouble ><


maybe she hooked up with the guy in the next room over