Short Story - Printable Version

Short Story - Printable Version

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Short Story - TomFoolery - 10-19-2005

When I was 19 there was this broad I was seeing named Nikki. We fucked around a lot, but she was really stingy with the pussy. One evening she left one of her shirts at my place and I ended up jerking off and wiping my semen on it. She came by the next day to grab the tee and I had to tell her it wasn't there--she must have left it somewhere else.

I think that kinda wigged her out, and we stopped seeing each other a couple of days after that. I called her late one night shortly after the breakup--she probably thought it was a drunken booty call--to have her come over. I gave her the shirt and laughed in her face. We haven't spoken since.

Short Story - Bill - 10-19-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:When I was 19 there was this broad I was seeing named Nikki. We fucked around a lot, but she was really stingy with the pussy. One evening she left one of her shirts at my place and I ended up jerking off and wiping my semen on it. She came by the next day to grab the tee and I had to tell her it wasn't there--she must have left it somewhere else.

I think that kinda wigged her out, and we stopped seeing each other a couple of days after that. I called her late one night shortly after the breakup--she probably thought it was a drunken booty call--to have her come over. I gave her the shirt and laughed in her face. We haven't spoken since.

you should drop off a spunk encrusted homer hanky into her mailbox.

Short Story - TomFoolery - 10-19-2005

Bill Wrote:you should drop off a spunk encrusted homer hanky into her mailbox.

You're missing the point.

Short Story - cLaY - 10-19-2005

the point is...when it comes to getting pussy, TomFoolery is almost as pathetic as me. Much like his dear friend clay, TomFoolery also has a severe masturbation addiction.

Short Story - Vitamin E - 10-19-2005

I'm honestly suprised TomFoolery doesn't get more action. His pick up styles are tight. Plus back in my single days it always seemed like the chick had recently broken up with a dude who'd pull TF style hijinx. RACK TF and his mad womanizer skeels.

Short Story - TomFoolery - 10-19-2005

cLaY Wrote:the point is...when it comes to getting pussy, TomFoolery is almost as pathetic as me. Much like his dear friend clay, TomFoolery also has a severe masturbation addiction.

No. Except for the severe masturbation addict part.

Short Story - TomFoolery - 10-19-2005

Vitamin E Wrote:I'm honestly suprised TomFoolery doesn't get more action. His pick up styles are tight. Plus back in my single days it always seemed like the chick had recently broken up with a dude who'd pull TF style hijinx. RACK TF and his mad womanizer skeels.

This guy gets it.

One day in the not-so-distant future motherfuckers will base their game on my antics and "fuck it" attitude, and they will get more pussy than they know what to do with. And every one of you haters will think about me and say, "Damn, Foolery was right. Rack that guy."

Short Story - leucetios - 10-19-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:This guy gets it.

One day in the not-so-distant future motherfuckers will base their game on my antics and "fuck it" attitude, and they will get more pussy than they know what to do with. And every one of you haters will think about me and say, "Damn, Foolery was right. Rack that guy."

Then how come you don't?

Short Story - SanDog - 10-19-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:This guy gets it.

One day in the not-so-distant future motherfuckers will base their game on my antics and "fuck it" attitude, and they will get more pussy than they know what to do with. And every one of you haters will think about me and say, "Damn, Foolery was right. Rack that guy."

Or someday in the not so distant future I will continue to not give a fuck if anyone but me gets laid, ever.

Short Story - TomFoolery - 10-19-2005

leucetios Wrote:Then how come you don't?

Because my skills are far too advanced for your typical, ordinary, run-of-the-mill garden variety lover. The ones that are certified $$$$ understand and appreciate it though.

Short Story - cLaY - 10-19-2005

i don't get laid, and i don't give a fuck, because only I can please myself...that came out weird.

Short Story - Banana - 10-19-2005

cLaY Wrote:i don't get laid, and i don't give a fuck, because only I can please myself...that came out weird.

The glaring difference is that you have someone who's supposed to have sex with you.

Short Story - cLaY - 10-19-2005

Banana Wrote:The glaring difference is that you have someone who's supposed to have sex with you.

Ya, i know.

Short Story - Shadrach - 10-19-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:Because my skills are far too advanced for your typical, ordinary, run-of-the-mill garden variety lover. The ones that are certified $$$$ understand and appreciate it though.

I appreciate it but only cuz i mastered it whilst you were still in diapers, nancy.

Short Story - what? - 10-19-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:Because my skills are far too advanced for your typical, ordinary, run-of-the-mill garden variety lover. The ones that are certified $$$$ understand and appreciate it though.

am I reading this right, that your game is so ahead of it's time that it only works on Vitamin E? Huh

Short Story - minorthreat - 10-19-2005

what? Wrote:am I reading this right, that your game is so ahead of it's time that it only works on Vitamin E?

VitE is $$$ though.

Short Story - TomFoolery - 10-19-2005

what? Wrote:am I reading this right, that your game is so ahead of it's time that it only works on Vitamin E?

You can read it two ways. The first is based on the assumption that I am heterosexual and the "certified $$$$ lovers" reference was directed toward ladies. The second and more humerous way to read it would include assuming that I was talking about VitaminE.

Would you belive me if I told you that when I posted it I intended it to read two ways like that? Do you think that my sense of humor is so advanced that only someone that is certified $$$$ like you understands and appreciates it?

Short Story - what? - 10-19-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:You can read it two ways. The first is based on the assumption that I am heterosexual and the "certified $$$$ lovers" reference was directed toward ladies. The second and more humerous way to read it would include assuming that I was talking about VitaminE.

Would you belive me if I told you that when I posted it I intended it to read two ways like that? Do you think that my sense of humor is so advanced that only someone that is certified $$$$ like you understands and appreciates it?

you're right, my loins now burn for you. shit that was fast :blink:

ps - you're the "bottom", right?