Some Random Thoughts - Printable Version

+- InsaneTrain Forums (https://insanetrain.com)
+-- Forum: General (https://insanetrain.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=4)
+--- Forum: General Forum (https://insanetrain.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=8)
+--- Thread: Some Random Thoughts (/showthread.php?tid=29168)

---

Some Random Thoughts - Odysseus - 08-23-2005

If I ever have a son, I'm going to call him Bruce.

If I ever have a daughter, for her first birthday she's getting a sex change. It's for her own good so that the children don't make fun of her for being called Bruce.

I went to school with a girl who asked "Who won the Second World War?" and "What continent do we live on?" I was in the same group as this girl for both History and Geography. Do you think the ice cream froze my brain, or is it because I have spelling and grammar like a spastic during a fit?

The value of my comic collection is currently much higher than my debt. The more I think about this, the stupider I feel. But then I look into Gambit's eyes or Catwoman's thighs and it's all worthwhile.

Over my desk I currently have two pictures of my girlfriend and three of Brody Dalle (Distillers singer). Should my girlfriend be jealous? If so, it would seem Magical Trevor and two characters that my friend Alison designed are more of a threat. Eat that logic and get on your knees, woman.

Gary Larson is without a shadow of a doubt the funniest fucker to have ever lived. After Jesus. Jesus was the original Marilyn Manson, and no one picked up on it. It was all a show, dumb asses. He was laughing at you behind your backs.

I'm on a first name basis with all the Waltons.

Our dog loves absolutely everyone in this world. She is the friendliest dog that I have ever known. Except for one person, who she hate and growls at, called Simon. That must be a real kick in the balls to know that a creature loves everything and everyone except you.

Went to the zoo yesterday, and into a bit of it called the "Rainforest House" where they simulate it to a terrifying degree. On the way in there is a sign that says (no word of a lie) "A lot of these plants are poisonous so please do not touch" Fair enough I thought, but then I shit myself. The plants were everywhere! The first thing that happens when you walk through the door is you get about nine feet of leaves smacking you in the face. I'm not sure how long I have left, but if this is my last post.

I've worked out how to piss people off. For some reason when someone says something positive to me, even though I agree, I shake my head. When they say something negative I nod. Anyone know why this pisses people off? Am I psychological genius?

Does anyone else remember the show "Thundercats"? If I ever see that program again, I won't be able to control my wood. It was so cool.

If Bruce ever wants a stick insect I'll just buy him a stick and tell him it's poisonous, and if he touches his "stick insect" it'll possibly cause his death. I'll be fucked if I'm buying and feeding a pet that barely looks like one.

I had a peanut sandwich once, just to see. The bread was buttered, so I figured poor man's peanut butter. How wrong was I?!

I once gave a homeless guy outside MacDonald's my last $5. I figured he would go in and get something to eat with it. Cheeky bastard went to Blockbuster instead and rented a film. I know because he followed me in there.

Who the fuck puts fucking poisonous plants within reach of a complete fucking moron like me? It's lucky I was mostly sober; otherwise I probably would have eaten one of the fucking things to prove a point.

I once danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight. It's overrated.

For someone who has a dreadful singing voice, the worse thing in the world is when I'm driving along and the CD in the car skips, throwing what should be silence, but is actually filled with my last non-note fluttering away to awkward silence.

It's even luckier Bruce wasn't with me; otherwise I might have made him eat them instead. That was I could sue the zoo, get out of debt AND keep my comic collection.

My friends and I made a film once where I was serial killer. Making it was more deadly than the actual story. We nearly burnt the house down, one persons leg did catch on fire, I fell out of a loft, hung off a porch and ripped it down onto my head, nearly went through the roof of a shed, all but cut off a mate's finger, gashed open the arm in his armchair, someone fell down the stairs and we were all filled with various cuts from the biggest (and therefore most unhygienic) knives in my friend's cupboard.

That is all.

---