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Meet Uncle Spork! - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Meet Uncle Spork! (/showthread.php?tid=27038)

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Meet Uncle Spork! - SporK - 07-10-2005

Someone asked me to participate in a charity auction. I hate doing things for charity but I may go through with this. How many of you are willing to pay money to meet me?


People not allowed to participate:
TomFoolery
MinorThreat



-SporK


Meet Uncle Spork! - ntype - 07-10-2005

if I ever had to pay something to meet you I'll expect at least to have the right to punch you in the face.

-ntype


Meet Uncle Spork! - SporK - 07-10-2005

ntype Wrote:if I ever had to pay something to meet you I'll expect at least to have the right to punch you in the face.

-ntype

You can try to punch me in the face as long as a friend of mine gets to headbutt you in the jaw.

-Spork


Meet Uncle Spork! - ntype - 07-10-2005

SporK Wrote:You can try to punch me in the face as long as a friend of mine gets to headbutt you in the jaw.

-Spork

:roll:

why do you call a friend ? Are you too weak and get even beaten by grannies ?


Meet Uncle Spork! - SporK - 07-10-2005

ntype Wrote::roll:

why do you call a friend ? Are you too weak and get even beaten by grannies ?

Yes.


Meet Uncle Spork! - minorthreat - 07-10-2005

SporK Wrote:Someone asked me to participate in a charity auction. I hate doing things for charity but I may go through with this. How many of you are willing to pay money to meet me?


People not allowed to participate:
TomFoolery
MinorThreat



-SporK


I thought we were friends?

-minorthreat


Meet Uncle Spork! - Blueeyedwoman - 07-10-2005

I'll pay.


Meet Uncle Spork! - SporK - 07-11-2005

Blueeyedwoman Wrote:I'll pay.

I bet you would, you cumrag!

How much are you willing to shell out?

-SporK


Meet Uncle Spork! - minorthreat - 07-11-2005

SporK Wrote:I bet you would, you cumrag!

How much are you willing to shell out?

-SporK


Hi buddy!

-minorthreat


Meet Uncle Spork! - Blueeyedwoman - 07-11-2005

SporK Wrote:I bet you would, you cumrag!

How much are you willing to shell out?

-SporK

I'm wealthy. What's it gonna cost me? Name it.


Meet Uncle Spork! - SporK - 07-11-2005

Blueeyedwoman Wrote:I'm wealthy. What's it gonna cost me? Name it.


I dunno. It's for charity. Other stupid bitches will be bidding for my attention.

You'll have to show them who's boss.

-SPorK


Meet Uncle Spork! - SporK - 07-18-2005

For those interested, I raised a whole $63 at our little charity auction!

I went there planning on being all gentleman like but they had an open bar and I couldn't pass that up. We started doing shots and Vodka without beer is like money to the wind or stupid proverb like that...anyway I had to go back outside to buy a 6pack of Coronas...long story short by the time I got on stage, I was so hammered I forgot where I was or what I was doing. As soon as I got on stage my cell phone went off and I of course picked it up...I remember the podium bitch saying some shit to me and me replying with "Can't you see I'm on the fucking phone?" After the phone call..standing there like an idiot in front of everyone got old and I staggered of stage cursing at someone or something or maybe nothing at all...the details arent very clear. ANyway I remember that someone bid $50 "on the drunk" but I think it was a friend of mine. I then tried to tip the bar tender $13 but I think that was stolen and added to the charity prize pool. Finally after I made an idiot of myself, I went to a place where idiots are appreciated - a bar. Unfortunately this particular bar sucked motherfucking donkey ass and I proceded to get into a verbal confrontation with 2 lesbians and later a large black man. This didn't go any further because I like telling people I'm NYPD and they, for one reason or another, believe me.

Have a fucking terrible day, assholes.

-SporK

P.s. Blueeyedwoman, you're a fat cunt.


Meet Uncle Spork! - ntype - 07-18-2005

classy indeed. On the other hand this doesn't surprise me at all.


Meet Uncle Spork! - Bill - 07-18-2005

I'd punch you in the fucking throat just to watch you gasp desperatly for air.

-Bill


Meet Uncle Spork! - SporK - 07-18-2005

Bill Wrote:I'd punch you in the fucking throat just to watch you gasp desperatly for air.

-Bill

Promises, promises.

-SporK


Meet Uncle Spork! - Blondie - 07-18-2005

SporK Wrote:For those interested, I raised a whole $63 at our little charity auction!

I went there planning on being all gentleman like but they had an open bar and I couldn't pass that up. We started doing shots and Vodka without beer is like money to the wind or stupid proverb like that...anyway I had to go back outside to buy a 6pack of Coronas...long story short by the time I got on stage, I was so hammered I forgot where I was or what I was doing. As soon as I got on stage my cell phone went off and I of course picked it up...I remember the podium bitch saying some shit to me and me replying with "Can't you see I'm on the fucking phone?" After the phone call..standing there like an idiot in front of everyone got old and I staggered of stage cursing at someone or something or maybe nothing at all...the details arent very clear. ANyway I remember that someone bid $50 "on the drunk" but I think it was a friend of mine. I then tried to tip the bar tender $13 but I think that was stolen and added to the charity prize pool. Finally after I made an idiot of myself, I went to a place where idiots are appreciated - a bar. Unfortunately this particular bar sucked motherfucking donkey ass and I proceded to get into a verbal confrontation with 2 lesbians and later a large black man. This didn't go any further because I like telling people I'm NYPD and they, for one reason or another, believe me.

Have a fucking terrible day, assholes.

-SporK

P.s. Blueeyedwoman, you're a fat cunt.


Did someone ask for this...or was there a post where someone said they gave a fuck?...what are you thinking posting this story???..ugh.

-Blondie.


Meet Uncle Spork! - Banana - 07-18-2005

When I can't sleep tonight, I'll read your story and I'm sure I'll be fine.

-Banana


Meet Uncle Spork! - Sneezy - 07-18-2005

My suggestion


Meet Uncle Spork! - SporK - 07-18-2005

Blondie Wrote:Did someone ask for this...or was there a post where someone said they gave a fuck?...what are you thinking posting this story???..ugh.

-Blondie.

Hey stupid bitch, pay attention:

This story, like all of my stories, is fucking great.

-SporK


Meet Uncle Spork! - ntype - 07-18-2005

Blondie Wrote:Did someone ask for this...or was there a post where someone said they gave a fuck?...what are you thinking posting this story???..ugh.

-Blondie.

well because you are not a guy you don't know the so-called "drunken bait method".

Easy get one of your friends wasted, and use it as a bait to catch girl (erm), all advantages :

1. if your friend is pushy, you can become "the savior" (for the girl).
2. a drunk always hits watever comes so you can drop him near a hog he would fell in love with
3. a drunk never remember exactly last time he bought drinks for everyone, you can hit on his wallet
4. a drunk does silly things (especially if there is a dancefloor), another material to start conversations "yeah I know I'm with my friend but he doesn't have control...bla bla"