I have a confession. - Printable Version

I have a confession. - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: I have a confession. (/showthread.php?tid=24953)

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I have a confession. - Saytan - 06-01-2005

I am not as cool as I like to pretend. Shocking I know....but true. My only real friends in life are my like-minded compatriots from ownster. To illustrate my point further allow to tell you about my activities last night.

It was about 5:30 when Raiden called me up. I could tell right off the bat he wasnt doing well.

Raiden: Hey man.

Me: Whats up?

Raiden: Nothing, I think I might kill myself.

Me: Whoa. Whats going on man?

Raiden: My mom caught me with my beemer again. She took it away this time.

Me: Ouch. Why did she take it away?

Raiden: Well buddy, thats kinda a long story you sure you wanna hear?

Me: After all we've been through.....I cant believe you would even ask.

Raiden: Thanks sweetie, I knew I could count on you. Well ya remember that time we stole the wine coolers from my dad and got really fucked up?

Me: Yeah.....

Raiden: You remember the pleasure that we found could be obtained through my special little car?

Me: Uh huh.

Raiden: Well last night I perfected it. I found out I could actually fit the tire inside my ass rather than just running it along my puckered brown star.

Me: Youre kidding? You did all that with one hand? How could you focus on controlling the remote?

Raiden: Well no. Ya see I rigged up the throttle on the remote controll with a rubber band so I could tweak the front fender with one hand just enough to allow the tire into my ass, which I was stretching open with my other hand. It would been much easier had you been here. No one can get me to gape like you......But I had to make due.

Me: Wow. She took it away for that. That isnt near as bad as the time she caught us trying out her dildos on each other.

Raiden: Wait man I am not done. Well that little remote control car was working wonders on my ass and I could feel I was gonna lose it. Just at the moment of my supreme ecstasy she walking in........Dude I blew my load right on her. Needless to say she didnt enjoy it near as much as you do.......

Me: .............Damn, I wish I coulda been there............I uh mean.....I am sorry to hear that man.

Raiden: Can you come over? Please? I just need to feel loved right now.

Im sorry.......I need a break from this.......realizing how truly sick I am is taking its toll.....I will finish later. Maybe you all can give me some advice.

I have a confession. - cLaY - 06-01-2005

best post ever from an Ownster member

I have a confession. - Bill - 06-01-2005

cLaY Wrote:best post ever from an Ownster member

2nd

Rack-a-lack-a-ding-dong!

I have a confession. - VitaminE - 06-01-2005

Raiden's is $$$$ this thread try to damage his board cred. I'm not happy!

I have a confession. - Bill - 06-01-2005

VitaminE Wrote:Raiden's is $$$$ this thread try to damage his board cred. I'm not happy!

you should check out the physics question thread.....it was damaged before this was posted.

I have a confession. - Bill - 06-01-2005

I might have to sticky this so it'll get more play.....

I don't care who you are. That there's some funny shit.

I have a confession. - Satan - 06-01-2005

Funny how IT members only find "sticking things in asses" jokes funny. You cock lovers have some serious problems. I really feel bad for your wife and kids. To sit here and call yourself "mature adults" then talk about putting things in eachother asses...I feel bad for you all, at least I know my father, a real man, never talked about putting things in other guys asses...think of your children you closet homosexuals.

I have a confession. - BIRD33 - 06-01-2005

Satan Wrote:Funny how IT members only find "sticking things in asses" jokes funny. You cock lovers have some serious problems. I really feel bad for your wife and kids. To sit here and call yourself "mature adults" then talk about putting things in eachother asses...I feel bad for you all, at least I know my father, a real man, never talked about putting things in other guys asses...think of your children you closet homosexuals.

Fucking hilarious,thanks for the clarification.

I have a confession. - Gadonkadonk Money Dawg - 06-01-2005

Satan Wrote:Funny how IT members only find "sticking things in asses" jokes funny. You cock lovers have some serious problems. I really feel bad for your wife and kids. To sit here and call yourself "mature adults" then talk about putting things in eachother asses...I feel bad for you all, at least I know my father, a real man, never talked about putting things in other guys asses...think of your children you closet homosexuals.

Probably because he didnt want anyone to know he buttfucked his son. I bet yours was a painful childhood wasnt it?

I have a confession. - cLaY - 06-01-2005

Satan Wrote:Funny how IT members only find "sticking things in asses" jokes funny. You cock lovers have some serious problems. I really feel bad for your wife and kids. To sit here and call yourself "mature adults" then talk about putting things in eachother asses...I feel bad for you all, at least I know my father, a real man, never talked about putting things in other guys asses...think of your children you closet homosexuals.

I fucking love you, i want to cram my dry cock in your ass. Maybe after that you could stick your unlubed penis in my honey pot.

I have a confession. - Bill - 06-01-2005

Satan Wrote:Funny how IT members only find "sticking things in asses" jokes funny. You cock lovers have some serious problems. I really feel bad for your wife and kids. To sit here and call yourself "mature adults" then talk about putting things in eachother asses...I feel bad for you all, at least I know my father, a real man, never talked about putting things in other guys asses...think of your children you closet homosexuals.

he's still trying to repress those memories of being gang raped in prison.

I have a confession. - Dr. Lecter - 06-01-2005

Satan Wrote:Funny how IT members only find "sticking things in asses" jokes funny. You cock lovers have some serious problems. I really feel bad for your wife and kids. To sit here and call yourself "mature adults" then talk about putting things in eachother asses...I feel bad for you all, at least I know my father, a real man, never talked about putting things in other guys asses...think of your children you closet homosexuals.

I'd agree with you, but you're fat. :joff:

I have a confession. - TomFoolery - 06-01-2005

Satan Wrote:...at least I know my father, a real man, never talked about putting things in other guys asses...

Satan's Father

I have a confession. - Satan - 06-01-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:Satan's Father

Chris Cooper is not my father.

I have a confession. - cLaY - 06-01-2005

come here and fuck me Satan, right in the ass.

I have a confession. - Bill - 06-01-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:Satan's Father

:loool:

I have a confession. - Satan - 06-01-2005

Sad sad people. Seriously nothing but a bunch of closet homo's. What happend to the great IT smack?? Now all you talk about is butt fucking one another.

I have a confession. - Gadonkadonk Money Dawg - 06-01-2005

Satan Wrote:Sad sad people. Seriously nothing but a bunch of closet homo's. What happend to the great IT smack?? Now all you talk about is butt fucking one another.

Actually I think they are talking about buttfucking with you.

I have a confession. - Satan - 06-01-2005

cLaY Wrote:come here and fuck me Satan, right in the ass.

Ill fuck your wife in the ass faggot.

I have a confession. - cLaY - 06-01-2005

Satan Wrote:Ill fuck your wife in the ass faggot.

sorry, no wife...just me now come fuck me sailor.