Beer Quotes - Printable Version

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Beer Quotes - Anhil8tor - 04-06-2005

Sometimes, when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I
feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the brewery and all of their
hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they
might be out of work and their dreams would be
shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer
and let their dreams come true than be selfish and
worry about my liver."

- Babe Ruth
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An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to
spend time with his fools.

- Ernest Hemingway
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up
reading.

- Paul Hornung
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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I
think not.

- H.L. Mencken
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When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we
fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!

- George Bernard Shaw
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Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be
happy.

- Benjamin Franklin
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Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine
invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well
with pizza.

- Dave Barry
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BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.

- W.C. Fields
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Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

- Professor Irwin Corey
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group."
Salvation in a can!

- Leo Durocher
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Drink enough beer, and you'll never go to bed with an
ugly woman.
(You might wake up with a few...)

A Great Philosopher, who wishes to remain anonymous
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One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the
"Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see,
Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move
as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is
hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back
that are killed first. This natural selection is good
for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members. In much the
same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as
the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol,
as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it
attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In
this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more
efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter
after a few beers."

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