Redneck quickies - Printable Version

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Redneck quickies - NinjaBassist - 02-09-2005

Question: What do you call the sight of a plumber under the sink with his pants creeping down, exposing his crack?

Answer: Redneck Cleavage.



Question: How long does it takes a redneck to eat road kill?

Answer: It depends on how heavy the traffic is.



Question: What are the last words of a redneck?

Answer: "Hey y'all check this out!"



Hope my family members don't get insulted, but I do have a dead uncle that has a tombstone carved out like an 18 wheeler semi-truck. His wife was driving with him, and she's not dead yet, but the enscryption says, "One fine team". Sorry Aunt Annamae!



Question: How do you recognize an Aussie Redneck?

Answer: You look up his family tree and most of them are still in it!!



Question: What do you call a New Zealand Redneck with 6 sheep?

Answer: A pimp.



Question: Why are New Zealand sheep so scared?

Answer: Because Kiwi Rednecks have got velcro gloves.



Question: Why do Aussie Rednecks curl their cowboy hats up at the sides?

Answer: So the can fit 3 abreast in a pickup.



Question: What does a redneck chick say after sex?

Answer: Get off me daddy, your crushing my smokes!



Question: What does a redneck divorce and a tornado have in common?

Answer: One way or the other someone is losing their trailer!



Question: Why do they throw shit on the walls at rednack weddings?

Answer: To keep the flies off the bride!



Question: How do you circumsize a redneck?

Answer: Kick his sister in the jaw.



Question: What is the redneck definition of sexual maturity?

Answer: An eight year old girl who can run faster than her brothers.



Question: What's the redneck motto for sexual maturity?

Answer: After eight it's too late.



Question: What's the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale?

Answer: A northern fairy tale begins with, "Once upon a time. . . " A southern fairy tale begins with, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this . . . "

Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "Bout what?"




How did the redneck find his sister in the woods?

Not bad.



How can you tell a rich redneck from a poor redneck?



The rich redneck has two cars up on blocks in the yard.

Five rednecks drowned in the Ohio river last week. They were trying to dig a basement in the bottom of their houseboat

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