I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh (/showthread.php?tid=17905)

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - bdic - 01-28-2005

Go!!!!

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - Anhil8tor - 01-28-2005

Hey there lil buddy...

how goes it today?

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - Grumpy - 01-28-2005

My points keep dissapearing.. so i guess i shouldn't bother to try

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - asshat - 01-28-2005

I was on this construction site, eating what I am sure was some kind of domestic house pet that had been stewed, shredded and rolled up into a flour tortilla in the back of a Winnebago Mexican Kitchen, and as good as it was, the spice was kicking my ass. Within about an hour I could feel a burning sensation in my rectum that almost felt like someone was giving me a prostate exam with a hot fireplace poker. The goddamn Exlax company could learn a thing or two from these Mexican witchdoctors. I knew that time was of the essence and the only thing I could see was a nearby Rent-a-Crapper.

I quickly strolled to the john and found it to be unoccuppied. The stench hit me like I was standing in front of the return air duct at the City Turd Mill. I held my breath until I could get a cigarette lit, thinking the smoke might choke out the funk long enough for me to make a deposit and then get the fuck back to civilization. I hurridly pulled off my jeans as I bent toward the plastic seat. About the time I remembered my truck keys were in my back pocket I heard a splash. My fucking keys fell into the hole. As bad as that was, I had to blow and nothing was going to stop me.

It burned as if I Beelzebub himself had crawled up my ass and was throwing a fucking Mardi Gras. The shit poured from my ass in short bursts as my sphincter kept trying to make me end the punishment. This shit stew could have strained itself through a #20 wire cloth and left nothing behind. A fucking gold miner would have found more lumps in his pan than he could have found in this shit.

When it was over, I sat there with my head in my hands. I no longer noticed the smell. I could feel my ass hole throbbing itself back into place, taking short pants as it coughed out the final puffs of smoke.

Now about those keys. The water was still a little warm from the fresh defecation. I felt my way through the thick sludge to the bottom of the container. There was about a foot of water and solids before I felt the bottom. I moved my hand around and was quite pleased to find my keys rather quickly. As I grabbed hold of them, I soon realized that wasn't them. I don't know what it was, but it wasn't keys.

I kept up my search and within seconds, they were found. My sleeve was only slightly damp, as I had kept it rolled up high on my arm. There was a blue ring around the roll in the sleeve. As I unrolled it, I noticed that the blue stain had pretty well seeped throughout the fabric. I don't think anyone thought anything about it as I walked back to my truck.

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - fem - 01-28-2005

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - CT280 - 01-28-2005

no.

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - leeman - 01-28-2005

I'm Epoch

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - TomFoolery - 01-28-2005

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - asshat - 01-28-2005

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - Tribal Dragon - 01-28-2005

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - TomFoolery - 01-28-2005

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - bdic - 01-28-2005

Asshat Wrote:I was on this construction site, eating what I am sure was some kind of domestic house pet that had been stewed, shredded and rolled up into a flour tortilla in the back of a Winnebago Mexican Kitchen, and as good as it was, the spice was kicking my ass. Within about an hour I could feel a burning sensation in my rectum that almost felt like someone was giving me a prostate exam with a hot fireplace poker. The goddamn Exlax company could learn a thing or two from these Mexican witchdoctors. I knew that time was of the essence and the only thing I could see was a nearby Rent-a-Crapper.

I quickly strolled to the john and found it to be unoccuppied. The stench hit me like I was standing in front of the return air duct at the City Turd Mill. I held my breath until I could get a cigarette lit, thinking the smoke might choke out the funk long enough for me to make a deposit and then get the fuck back to civilization. I hurridly pulled off my jeans as I bent toward the plastic seat. About the time I remembered my truck keys were in my back pocket I heard a splash. My fucking keys fell into the hole. As bad as that was, I had to blow and nothing was going to stop me.

It burned as if I Beelzebub himself had crawled up my ass and was throwing a fucking Mardi Gras. The shit poured from my ass in short bursts as my sphincter kept trying to make me end the punishment. This shit stew could have strained itself through a #20 wire cloth and left nothing behind. A fucking gold miner would have found more lumps in his pan than he could have found in this shit.

When it was over, I sat there with my head in my hands. I no longer noticed the smell. I could feel my ass hole throbbing itself back into place, taking short pants as it coughed out the final puffs of smoke.

Now about those keys. The water was still a little warm from the fresh defecation. I felt my way through the thick sludge to the bottom of the container. There was about a foot of water and solids before I felt the bottom. I moved my hand around and was quite pleased to find my keys rather quickly. As I grabbed hold of them, I soon realized that wasn't them. I don't know what it was, but it wasn't keys.

I kept up my search and within seconds, they were found. My sleeve was only slightly damp, as I had kept it rolled up high on my arm. There was a blue ring around the roll in the sleeve. As I unrolled it, I noticed that the blue stain had pretty well seeped throughout the fabric. I don't think anyone thought anything about it as I walked back to my truck.

Let the bdic kissing Asshat's ass continue. It is done.

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - bdic - 01-28-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:

About five minutes too late, dood. Sorry.

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - asshat - 01-28-2005

$vv3E+

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - Grumpy - 01-28-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:

i didn't know personal picture where alowed.. god damn

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - The King - 01-28-2005

Tom Foolery is cool.

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - TomFoolery - 01-28-2005

bdic Wrote:About five minutes too late, dood. Sorry.

I wasn't in it for the points. I'm here to entertain.

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - bdic - 01-28-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:I wasn't in it for the points. I'm here to entertain.

If I was an admin here I would give you my CP access for that post alone.

Rack you, doug.

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - SCTLND - 01-28-2005

TomFoolery Wrote:

The greatest part for me about these pics was I had just ripped a raunchy one in my office right before I scrolled down. So I could actually smell them. Thank you TOm

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I'll donate 5000 points to the first person that makes me laugh - snarg - 01-29-2005

tthanks bdic
they did it for you
made all the wasted time wothwhile

narg:

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