InsaneTrain Forums
Ask a Banana - Printable Version

+- InsaneTrain Forums (https://insanetrain.com)
+-- Forum: General (https://insanetrain.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=4)
+--- Forum: General Forum (https://insanetrain.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=8)
+--- Thread: Ask a Banana (/showthread.php?tid=8333)

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5

Ask a Banana - MarkyGman - 07-23-2004

I only have a minor in Psychology (so maybe i'm not some sort of SUPERSHRINK like banana).

but....

If people piss you off there are only a two choices of action.

1) ignore it ... people only piss you off for the reaction they get.

2) fight back ... but don't be offended when they return fire.



I call it Marky G's theory of Younger Siblings.......I had 18 years of testing....then i moved out....which conveniantly falls into option (1)
300 km of distance between my sister really helped me ignore her :lol:

Ask a Banana - APB - 07-23-2004

Yeah I know I thought maybe you might tell me I am crazy Big Grin

Ask a Banana - mad_hatter - 07-23-2004

ok.. what the fuck?!?!?!? :angry:

If you people keep telling Ty to ignore me, and curing him, and making shit all peachy for him then asnwer me THIS:

:rant: how the fuck do you expect me to keep pushing his buttons and enjoying myself?:rant:

Ask a Banana - MarkyGman - 07-23-2004

kill the doctor........*evil laugh*

Ask a Banana - mad_hatter - 07-23-2004

damn you shrinks and you're perfect fluffy world

Ask a Banana - Banana - 07-23-2004

Quote:Originally posted by mad_hatter@Jul 23 2004, 12:13 PM
ok.. what the fuck?!?!?!? :angry:

If you people keep telling Ty to ignore me, and curing him, and making shit all peachy for him then asnwer me THIS:

:rant: how the fuck do you expect me to keep pushing his buttons and enjoying myself?:rant:
Ya, I guess I fucked that up. I was enjoying it too. Pick a new target....I have a few ideas.

Ask a Banana - mad_hatter - 07-23-2004

awesome. PM me the ideas and a few nekkid pics of you

Ask a Banana - pepsi - 07-24-2004

Ok... since your offering I'll state a problem Ive been having.

Well recently my mother had pass away about 6 months now and i havent really been able to grieve about it. When she passed away I wasnt even able to cry. I guess i havent yet let it sink in that she really isnt around anymore. I also cant forgive myself for the way Ive treated her. When she was around i guess you can say i wasnt the best daughter. We always faught and i would always talk back to her. The fights were so bad it would have her in tears sometimes. She always say i disrespected her and she didnt raise a daughter to treat her this way. She always told me when she would pass that i would regret everything that has happen and would take for granted the things she would do for me, and now that shes gone i do think about the things shes done for me and i regret i was so mean to her. I cant stop thinking about her. Everyday that has pass i think about her constantly. Another problem I find so hard to go to the cemetary to visit her. I guess it brings it back to reality that she really isnt around so it makes it so hard to go.
I also have this other situation i have this friend ive known for a few years and after my mother passed away, we started talking more serious as in relationship wise. Things havent worked out but i still cant let go. I guess because i started thinking that he was sent to me by my mother as an angel to watch over and help me cope with her passing away. I think this because like i said we didnt start talking seriously until she passed. The times we talk prior were strickly on a friendly basis. some give me your imput on my situation.

Ask a Banana - Banana - 07-24-2004

I'm going to qualify this advice with this disclaimer: I have no proof that what you have just told me is true. I expect that no one in their right mind would make something like that up, but your behaviours in the past have suggested attention whoring. I am going to accept your story and give you honest advice, but if this is just an attention getting scheme, I will be VERY upset. This strikes too close to
home.

SnD, the worst feeling in the world is REGRET. It's a horrible place to be. You cannot allow yourself to be there. Nothing you do will change what happened -- you can now live with the lessons you feel your mother has taught you. Remember that your grief is new and raw and you cannot be expected to reconcile all your feelings so fast. And, your mother probably loved you more than anything she had ever loved - when people have strong emotional feelings, they tend to say very emotionally charged things like "when I die, you will realize how much you took me for granted." But, it was not fair for her to say that. She was speaking irrationally - out of anger and emotion. I honestly believe that she would not want you to harbour all this regret over something she said out of anger.

Don't rush going to the cemetary - it took me a full year to go to my mothers grave. Don't feel guilty about not going. Your mother is in your heart - not at the cemetary.

Hope this helps. Smile

Ask a Banana - pepsi - 07-24-2004

Quote:Originally posted by banana@Jul 23 2004, 10:27 PM
I'm going to qualify this advice with this disclaimer: I have no proof that what you have just told me is true.  I expect that no one in their right mind would make something like that up, but your behaviours in the past have suggested attention whoring.  I am going to accept your story and give you honest advice, but if this is just an attention getting scheme, I will be VERY upset.  This strikes too close to
home.

SnD, the worst feeling in the world is REGRET.  It's a horrible place to be.  You cannot allow yourself to be there.  Nothing you do will change what happened -- you can now live with the lessons you feel your mother has taught you.  Remember that your grief is new and raw and you cannot be expected to reconcile all your feelings so fast.  And, your mother probably loved you more than anything she had ever loved - when people have strong emotional feelings, they tend to say very emotionally charged things like "when I die, you will realize how much you took me for granted."  But, it was not fair for her to say that.  She was speaking irrationally - out of anger and emotion.  I honestly believe that she would not want you to harbour all this regret over something she said out of anger. 

Don't rush going to the cemetary - it took me a full year to go to my mothers grave. Don't feel guilty about not going.  Your mother is in your heart - not at the cemetary. 

Hope this helps.  Smile
ok why would i make something up like this? maybe it was mistake to express something im going through if you take it up as a joke now i wont take your comment seriously.

Ask a Banana - Banana - 07-24-2004

Quote:Originally posted by SnD@Jul 23 2004, 03:33 PM

ok why would i make something up like this? maybe it was mistake to express something im going through if you take it up as a joke now i wont take your comment seriously.
Does it look like a joke? Check your PM and smarten up. I just spent 10 minutes giving you advice - you - someone who I don't know form Adam, other than you've stirred shit. Take it or leave it, I don't care.

Ask a Banana - mad_hatter - 07-24-2004

I checked my PM.. nothing :angry:

you're really trying my patience today :banana:

Ask a Banana - VitaminE - 07-26-2004

I doubt masterbation makes you go blind. Is there any truth to this myth?

Ask a Banana - Banana - 07-26-2004

Quote:Originally posted by VitaminE@Jul 26 2004, 11:16 AM
I doubt masterbation makes you go blind.  Is there any truth to this myth?
Well, on a basic level, masturbation can make males go blind if they shoot into their eyes. This stings. I've heard. Repeated spooge in the eye will cause blindness. Aim down.

Ask a Banana - CodeWarrior - 07-26-2004

Quote:Originally posted by banana+Jul 26 2004, 01:19 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(banana @ Jul 26 2004, 01:19 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'> <!--QuoteBegin-VitaminE@Jul 26 2004, 11:16 AM
I doubt masterbation makes you go blind.&nbsp; Is there any truth to this myth?
Well, on a basic level, masturbation can make males go blind if they shoot into their eyes. This stings. I've heard. Repeated spooge in the eye will cause blindness. Aim down. [/b][/quote]
Sounds like banana is speaking from experience :op:

Ask a Banana - Banana - 07-26-2004

^^^^^^
I always seem to give AW an opening to use that smilie. :llma:

Ask a Banana - TyrionXavier - 07-26-2004

Ok, here's something I've been wrestling with for some time.

My parents were divorced when I was very young (7 years old). My brother was the one into sports, where I was the one who tinkered with electronics, would take things apart and put it back together, etc. My father is also a musician, a talent that my brother and I both share, however my brother is a far greater talent than I. He plays lead guitar and writes songs, and is looking to sign a recording contract . I on the other hand am a software developer.

Anyway, long story short, my father used to drink a *LOT.* I was very young then and didn't really come to realize it until I was 14 or 15 years old, but he was basically an alcoholic. I came to realize that I didn't like visiting him much, because he was always drinking. He moved about 1 to 1.5 hours away (driving), and since I didn't have a car or a drivers license, I didn't see him very often. We pretty much drifted apart.

I'm 28 now, and I've owned a car for goin on 3 years (I was in post-secondary for 7 years, no need for vehicle)... and yet I still don't visit him much. I talk to him once in a while, and I visit about twice a year..

Anyway, the question.. am I a "bad" person for basically giving up on my dad? Should I feel bad for saying that my stepfather is more of a father to me than my real dad ever was (which is true?) I don't know what to do about my dad.

Ask a Banana - CodeWarrior - 07-26-2004

Quote:Originally posted by banana@Jul 26 2004, 01:21 PM
^^^^^^
I always seem to give AW an opening to use that smilie.&nbsp; :llma:
Is that a subconcious desire thing? Wink

Ask a Banana - TyrionXavier - 07-26-2004

Don't get me wrong here.. my dad is very proud of me. He's said so on many occasions.. I'm his only child to graduate high school and college (twice), I'm considered the more "stable" of the two sons, as I have a "respected" job, yadda yadda etc etc..

Ask a Banana - Banana - 07-26-2004

First, I don't think you should perceive yourself as being "bad" for not wanting to see your father. Also, if your stepfather has been more of a father, there is nothing inherently "bad" about that either - father means much more than simply providing the seed. However, I do think you need to get to the root of why you are avoiding your father. If it is pent up or harboured anger/resentment, that needs to be addressed. Does he still drink? If not, in my opinion, it would be helpful to put the past behind you and work on a positive relationship with your father in the future. If he still drinks a lot, and it bugs you, you should say something to him. Essentially, you have to decide if your relationship with your father is worth working on and improving. If you really don't care because you can never see yourself being friends with him, then keeping your distance is understandable. But, if it is because you are resentful/disgusted or any other emotion, you should figure things out with him. You would not want to be in the situation where after he has passed on, you are left to reconcile your relationship with him alone. My grandfather passed away without ever having reconciled his relationship with my uncle (for much the same reason - alcoholism) and my uncle still has not come to grips with it almost 20 years later.